Chaing Mai Word Vomit

Day Four. Dec. 23, 2016

Sardines in a can.

12 of us packed into a van with our belongings to the next.

The drive heavily reminds me of the 152.

Everything is finally slowing down and I am sitting with my thoughts.

I’ve become overcome with the thought of her.

The good. The bad. The magic. The wrong.

This is not where my brain is supposed to be.

I am 8000 miles away trying to find some sense of belonging to myself.

I am not understanding this wave of being overwhelmed at the moment,.

Maybe its the nostalgia of road trips past with them.

It all feels a bit much.

I can still feel their hand on the back of my neck with the windows down as we round the corners.

My heart is still sinking to the bottom of my chest.

I wonder if she understands the severity of it all.

Loving with everything I have. In too deep.

I fell to the bottom of our ocean and I think the ear weights she bought weighed me so far down that I began to grow gills.

So when she pulled the stop and it all drained out,

I choked and sputtered.

Needing to readapt.





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