Bangkok Word Vomit

Dec. 29, 2016

I find myself weeping this morning.

Weeping turned into crawling in bed next to friend and sobbing in their arms.

Waking the entire room whom all came over and gave their love as they do.

Such beautiful humans I thought.

I am feeling it all.

The hurt.

Internally, externally.

I cant stop crying. I feel overwhelmed. Everything is so much.

Up and down. The ebb and flow.

I’d find myself feeling euphoric and then crash into this pit of grief.

It feels as though i’m sinking again.

Do I need to go and see my psychologist?

Do I need to go back on my pills?

I had been doing so well so far this trip.

The Paxil was beginning to make me feel manic.

Thats never a good sign to continue something ever.

It didn’t feel to right after I got out of the “hospital.”

Psychiatric facility?

Mental Institution?

Whatever you want to call it.

Vistrial and Ativan are still keeping me sane at night.

What a weird fever.

I don’t know. Im just here rambling.





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