I don’t want to be vulnerable anymore.
I don’t want to crash.
I don’t want to be in deep.
I’ve been handing everyone matchbooks and dousing the gasoline.
Didn’t I know?
I set myself up for all of this.
I have to keep it all to myself from now on.
How do I possibly let anyone in anymore?
I’m usually good at this.
Seeing the signs.
But it’s been so long and I’m so deep in the dirt that I can’t even tell what’s up or down.
Jesus fucking Christ has this in between made a mess of me.